Well, maybe the Atwood Chigger™ will help you scratch it. :D
The simple design of this cute little tool pays homage to the classic key ring screwdriver/pry tools of the past but adds a bottle opener and 5/16" wrench. The large 3/4" hex opening makes it easy to slip onto a keyring and helps provide grip. The Chigger™ is made of 5/32" thick CPM S30v steel, is 2.25" long and features a stone washed finish. These are $45 plus shipping.
Thanks folks, these are gone for now! I very much appreciate it.