Titanium Gremlins!

My Dear Friends, 

I never mentioned this to anyone, not a single soul, but it happened one extraordinary night last September. I still don't know what to make of what I refer to now as The Incident, but I can tell you this: it's amazing how much can happen in the span of a single crazy minute.

It was a warm evening so the windows were still open. Light breezes wafted in bringing with them the delicious scent of decaying leaves and damp earth. Perfect sleeping weather, or so I thought.

I woke up in the early hours to strange glowing lights outside my window. At first I thought there was some kind of accident out on the road, but then I realized it was happening right on my lawn. I threw open the window screen and peered outside. Blinking rows of blue and red lights were coming from a large cigar shaped object hovering silently just above the ground with a small circle of crab grass and dandelions clearly illuminated below it. 

Just as I was considering running to the other room for my camera, out of the corner of my eye I spied my trusty Area 51 Chigger on the bedside table moving mysteriously of it's own accord. I tried to react, but I was too late! The Chigger danced just outside of my flailing grasp, then flew out the window as a powerful tractor beam pulled it rapidly towards the craft. Briefly the little tool was enveloped with a brilliant white light and then I lost sight of it completely as it disappeared inside. 

Suddenly, as quickly as it had appeared and without a single sound, the entire craft lifted off and then vanished, and the yard returned to an inky darkness. An distant night bird called and then all was quiet except for the ceaseless chirping of the crickets. I was left wondering, was this a dream or did it really just happen? I looked over at my table for confirmation and sure enough, my precious Chigger was gone!

Well, I'm happy to report that the Chigger was safely returned some months later in the US Mail, in a plain brown wrapper with no return address. Or maybe it was just an hour that felt like months... Whatever happened during that time we will never truly know, but it's safe to say that various bizarre and mysterious quasi-medical procedures, plus alcohol, were probably involved. 

Anyhow, the Chigger has recently given birth to a large litter of adorable bouncing baby tools (who knew that the Chiggers were female? Really, I had no idea...good thing I had named mine Sam...) so we can assume that the Alien experiments were a resounding success! I'm calling the cute offspring with their fat little cheeks Gremlins. 

Titanium Gremlins will run $55 plus shipping and the link to purchase is below. Thanks for stopping in everyone, have a great weekend, and remember...keep your windows closed tonight. ;)


Gremlins are gone for now, thanks again folks! :)