Saturday, March 19, 2016

Titanium Gremlins!

My Dear Friends, 

I never mentioned this to anyone, not a single soul, but it happened one extraordinary night last September. I still don't know what to make of what I refer to now as The Incident, but I can tell you this: it's amazing how much can happen in the span of a single crazy minute.

It was a warm evening so the windows were still open. Light breezes wafted in bringing with them the delicious scent of decaying leaves and damp earth. Perfect sleeping weather, or so I thought.

I woke up in the early hours to strange glowing lights outside my window. At first I thought there was some kind of accident out on the road, but then I realized it was happening right on my lawn. I threw open the window screen and peered outside. Blinking rows of blue and red lights were coming from a large cigar shaped object hovering silently just above the ground with a small circle of crab grass and dandelions clearly illuminated below it. 

Just as I was considering running to the other room for my camera, out of the corner of my eye I spied my trusty Area 51 Chigger on the bedside table moving mysteriously of it's own accord. I tried to react, but I was too late! The Chigger danced just outside of my flailing grasp, then flew out the window as a powerful tractor beam pulled it rapidly towards the craft. Briefly the little tool was enveloped with a brilliant white light and then I lost sight of it completely as it disappeared inside. 

Suddenly, as quickly as it had appeared and without a single sound, the entire craft lifted off and then vanished, and the yard returned to an inky darkness. An distant night bird called and then all was quiet except for the ceaseless chirping of the crickets. I was left wondering, was this a dream or did it really just happen? I looked over at my table for confirmation and sure enough, my precious Chigger was gone!

Well, I'm happy to report that the Chigger was safely returned some months later in the US Mail, in a plain brown wrapper with no return address. Or maybe it was just an hour that felt like months... Whatever happened during that time we will never truly know, but it's safe to say that various bizarre and mysterious quasi-medical procedures, plus alcohol, were probably involved. 

Anyhow, the Chigger has recently given birth to a large litter of adorable bouncing baby tools (who knew that the Chiggers were female? Really, I had no idea...good thing I had named mine Sam...) so we can assume that the Alien experiments were a resounding success! I'm calling the cute offspring with their fat little cheeks Gremlins. 

Titanium Gremlins will run $55 plus shipping and the link to purchase is below. Thanks for stopping in everyone, have a great weekend, and remember...keep your windows closed tonight. ;)


Gremlins are gone for now, thanks again folks! :)











 

16 comments:

Bryan Funk said...

Purple please.

felly giorgianni said...

Awesome story behind the Gremlin Peter! Glad i was able to get one! Thanks!

EndZz said...

All those colors are sweeeeeeet!

Unknown said...

I'd love green if that's possible.

Eric Kimberlin said...

Wonderful story and great design Peter. Can't wait to see it in person.

Unknown said...

Any color would be nice.

felly giorgianni said...

I prefer rainbow ano but will be super happy with whatever one arrives!

Chris said...

Missed it - that's what happens when you take a one year old grocery shopping with you and spend half the day trying to get back to check for the Atwood sale!

Pär said...

Hahaha great story! :-)

Cypripedium said...

You gotta make these in steel.

Zoltan said...

Great photographs!

Peter Atwood said...

Thanks everyone! :)

Thanks Zoltan. I used a Canon 5dmkii with 100mm macro on several of the images. For the swirly blurred images I used a Nikon D750 with Lomography Petzval 58mm lens f2 aperture and a Canon 500D closeup lens...and for the UV purple image with heavy vignetting I used the Nikon with a special adapter and a 4x microscope lens.

felly giorgianni said...

It seems as if Mr. Tool King Atwood knows something of photography as well! They are all awesome pics of awesome tools and I love what you do sir!

Render said...

Wow... Such a variety of bodies and lenses! Love the look of Petzval. I mean both picture and lens itself! It has such a unique bokeh. And that brass look of the lens!

retrosurfer1959 said...

Just Read this after seeing these on line and that was quite the story and one part read with real truth! That was the comment about alcohol being involved and I'm guessing that was in fact the case lol.

Sebler said...

I keep rereading this, looking for the hidden message. I'm no cryptographer.